Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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