I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
