just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
