Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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