Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
