Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Is that you in the white hat?

(248): View more from Michigan

Fine suit yourself

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(703): View more from Virginia

By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you Grey Goose.

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(360): View more from Washington

Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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(805): View more from California

Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(415): View more from California

And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.

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(716): View more from New York

ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store

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