So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
