I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
