oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
