She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
