so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
