hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
