I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
