Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
