If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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