imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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