3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
