Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
