I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
