i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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