I hate all girls vehemently.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
