Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am one with the molecules
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
