what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
