what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
