This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
