This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
