you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
