I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
