what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
