help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
