I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
