I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
