I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
