Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
