You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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