oh god the rape fog is back!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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