Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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