she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hippo gnu deer
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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