Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
