i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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