Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
