Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
