If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she looked like the before picture.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just want nice things and good sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
