the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
