Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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