is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
