margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am naked and annoyed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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