is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm gonna fight the coyote
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
