Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Omg I joined a choir last night...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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