she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
