Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
